4 Posthumous Relationship Lessons from Stunner & Olinda
Now that the dust has settled, the drama is (hopefully) over for Zimbabwean overnight socialite Olinda Chapel-Nkomo now that she and her new bow Tytan have tied the knot and are enjoying their happily ever after.
We figured we’d share our two cents on the very public relationship that came before, that of Stunner and Olinda. We are not experts and only comment as casual observers – regardless of your take on both characters, sorry, all the characters. There’s a lot that could be learnt from this very public series of events.
And just in case you’ve been living under a rock in the past year and a half – the long and the short of it is – Stunner was dumped by his wife on allegations of cheating, she went on an extended social media rant accusing the rapper of being ungrateful since she had basically funded his everything. Olinda’s then bow Stunner later revealed that he had been in the marriage only for the money. You can read about it here, here, here and here!
So what can we learn from this, then beautiful disaster?
A man is a man is a man is a man….
Say what you may about Stunner but the truth is he knew exactly what he was after from the moment he laid eyes on Olinda, his last admission was correct – he was in it for the money. And you may ask why he then continued to cheat when he was already in the money. The answer is simple; He just wanted to feel like a man. That’s it really. Why would a grown man go out with a 19-year-old? Because only in her presence did he actually feel like somebody.
For once, Stunner actually had what he wanted in his life despite the fact that he was getting it from another woman. The closest comparison would be a young woman who requests her boyfriend to buy her nice clothes so she can look good while looking for other men. Stunner was in it for himself, that sham of a marriage be damned.
At home, he felt emasculated because he owned nothing, not even the clothes on his back, not even the car he drove (at least according to his other half). Do you think Stunner went home and felt like the man of the house? No, specifically because it wasn’t his house.
The only other space he felt like a man was in the arms of a 19-year-old who was impressed by him. He could provide for her, entertain her, pick her up in one of his nice cars and live the life he always wanted. The point here being provision alone is not enough. Even if you give a man every single last thing he could ever want.
Hell, Olinda could have bought a plane for Stunner and he still would have cheated.
It’s not about provision … it’s about feeling like his own person.
Money can buy everything except…
Olinda’s got to a point where she had money and could afford a lot of things that a lot of people couldn’t (especially Stunner). If you watched any of her videos she underlined that point over and over. At some point, Olinda thought she could buy herself a boyfriend/ husband. You can’t blame her for thinking that way, after al,l she could buy almost everything else. And so she purchased Stunner but couldn’t purchase his loyalty.
Yes, she dangled dollar signs in front of the guy and appealed to his sense of greed.
Not so much his heart. As far as Stunner was concerned this was just another stepping stone – he was in it for the lifestyle.
Guys know this from an early age, dangling your car keys will get you the attention of a nice girl. She might ride with you for the car; lose the car and the girl goes too.
Things can get you a person’s attention but never their love.
Sometimes stability is everything.
Olinda at her age (early 30s), really wanted to settle down. She had everything else, now she wanted a man to be the cherry on top. Same as how other people look for kids to top their marriages. While Stunner happened to be in the crosshairs. Olinda was willing to go bankrupt for this guy!
As far as she was concerned… everything else be damned, she finally had the missing piece. This is why she spared no expense to finance and upgrade his lifestyle.
It’s not that she was desperate … it’s just now she had a higher priority than just money itself.
She now had somewhere to direct her money and wanted stability – a husband and a home. A prominent rapper/ singer boyfriend husband was more than just a nice touch. Olinda wanted inner peace.
We might all know that obsession can be blinding. She failed to see how Stunner might possibly be a crook. You remember when she posted her first video then immediately retracted her statement the very same day because her Stunner had ‘explained’ things. Even though half of the city… this author included knew she was right about his cheating. All thing aside Olinda worked hard for her sense of stability, she just wanted to feel loved.
You can’t hurry love.
A wise guy on TV the other day said that building a relationship is like starting a fire. You start with the kindling before the big logs, you can’t get a roaring fire from logs alone. In other words, you start with the small things. Maybe had both these two people gotten to know each other over time; they might have both known what the other was about.
But everything from engagement to marriage was so fast forward.
I honestly believe that Olinda had contempt for Stunner because he was broke. A contempt she couldn’t hide from the rest of the world in her anger after she found out what was there all along. In the end, both parties got was coming to them. Not in the sense that they deserved what happened, but in the sense of two trains that are headed for a head-on and both couldn’t stop.
Sadly, it was only a matter of time.
Their marriage was built on status and money.
Not the little things like getting to know whether or not your partner is a possible crook!
The Author of this article is not a relationship expert.
If you feel you have anything to add or take away feel free to let us know in the comments.