This week’s Entry comes from a rather uninspiring jerk, Lord Kirk. He is not royalty, however we call him that just to keep him in good spirits. Enjoy!
When I’m far away from the searing light of the very bright screen of my old broken down laptop. Far away from my phone and all the applications in it. The friend requests, the shade in my Twitter notifications, the spam from numerous porn sites in my Gmail. I have dark thoughts. I think about anything, everything! I wonder a lot. What could be an what maybe. Then my feet send Morse Code to my eyes by tapping the floor. I desperately need to pee!
What if all the cows just woke and decided that they weren’t going to produce milk at all? Stop God’s own making and shut down their mammary glands. What would the poor dairy farmer do? What will the workers from dairy companies do? Their primary ingredient is no longer there. Would we turn to Goat milk? Or maybe enjoy the fruits of Soya by making that awful tasting substance they call Soya milk? Bleak!
What if all the minibus drivers in Harare just decided to down their tools. How empty would the service stations be? Would those ‘classy’ ladies in your neighbourhood manage to walk to town in their fake red bottoms? Would my neighbour give me transport to town with full knowledge that I pee on his wall every time I come from the club late? Will touts be able to get food when their source of lunch money is not available? I wonder!
Lastly, I have been partaking in Harare’s own ‘Feed The Nation’ scheme, Eat n’Lick’s shwarma. A lot of people are lining up to get their hands on this rather disgusting wrap. I have a few questions. What if we discover that they are using rotten chicken? What if they are using those banned chickens from Brazil? What if their next batch is full of bird-flu infested birds? What if they are not really using chicken? What if they put too much sauce in my shwarma? I don’t mind anyway. I already have too much sauce!
