I know damn right what you’re thinking right now at the glance of the headline.
You’re cringing and thinking.
You are probably asking what the hell is this crazy bitch saying.
Tell you what, I might be definitely crazy or a little too much at times, but I always make sense. Ok, mostly. LOL.
But what am I saying, really? And most importantly, how did I arrive at the above “cringeworthy” assertation?
Well, vaginas are like dicks. They’re differently assorted. Some men have wide girted dicks, others the slim fit. There are some that are long and some that are short. Some are straight and others…well…to the left, everything you own in the box to the left.
Jokes aside, every man’s penis is different and perfectly so. And so are vaginas.
Let’s assume that every woman I’m talking about is your picture-perfect damsel virgin. Ok, not a damsel. But yes, some women have tight vaginas, some have loose vaginas, and some are deep (which I went into depth about in my last issue on cervixes). Some are shallow. Some go straight and others…. yes, you guessed it…to the left! And to the right. Either direction.
So if you’re that delusional man who’s obsessed with marrying a virgin, please don’t go in expecting her to be tight or even to bleed. That’s a misconception perpetuated by pornography. Those women have their vaginas surgically tightened in case you didn’t know.
I’ve heard of young women being returned to their family homes after their wedding nights because their anatomy didn’t fit the criteria of the vaginal bride.
Firstly, I think anyone who marries someone for the state of their hymen is kinda stupid. And secondly, like I’m saying, not every pussy is tight!
On virginity, I find that the few men that obsess over it are in a way trying to compensate for their own insecurities and fears. There’s a belief that a woman without experience will never compare you with another man.
Sweetheart, if you’re terrible in bed, you’re just terrible period! You could marry ten virgins and they’d still wish for better.
When it boils down to size, it’s all about finding your right fit. What’s big for one woman isn’t the same for another. Maybe you actually prefer a smaller size because you orgasm from g-spot stimulation. FYI, most women don’t orgasm from penetration. A lot pretend to though. Just like a man ejaculating isn’t equivalent to him orgasming.
Penetration is really about intimacy and vulnerability. Growing closer to your counterpart. It’s really psychological.
On a final note, I’ll say this to men and women alike: the key to your own happiness is finding what works for you. Don’t let society fool you or lead you into trying to find validation by following the trends. You only end up as a desperate person who looks for validation in between the legs of countless men and women and from climbing social ladders that lead to misery.
Keep some things to yourself and jealously guard your happy places. Just because it’s not popular doesn’t take away from it. People who usually pressure you into going with the flow often live contradictory life. That guy friend of yours who tells you that women are worthless and should be put in their place is the most mellow and loving man at home. Be careful what you listen to. We all lie just to hype ourselves up.
Back to genitalia. Unfortunately, there’s no way to tell what kind of penis or vagina someone has. The whole height and shoe size thing is a lie ladies. Though I’ve heard that chubby girls have deeper vaginas. Still, it could just be a myth.
I guess it makes sense why we need to pray for our partners!
