Chaos! That is how the blonde on this international television network described the situation in my city, Harare. That was a bit surprising because it was very quiet, with a flavoring of “Cop Cabana Town here?”
Sensationalising! I have learnt a lot of new words this past week. Learnt how to insult the immortals and still, life moved on like everything was normal. Hope. Change. ‘Coup’. General Bae. Lumumba. Chatunga. His watch. Fuck!
Tindo sells cigarettes and snacks at the corner of Jason Moyo and Angwa Street. His spot is right next to the door of a pharmacy which possesses a TV connected to the DSTV network. You know, that one that has dish and a gango of channels! This is his only multimedia source of news and this is Tindo’s description of this weekend, a weekend of history. Well, one man needs to go!
“I am not particularly good when it comes to the English language but I wanted to share this with you. I am a vendor, which basically means that I’m the reason your council police husband comes to work. I make just close to US$10 profit per day and that’s if the wholesalers are not fluctuating the prices. I like Mahommed Mussa but the queues piss me off.
For this past two weeks, the police in conjunction with the council have descended upon us ‘confiscating’ all our stock and forcing us to pay bribes if we can’t afford the US$20 fine. Basically everyone bribes. We don’t know where the confiscated items go to. Knowing how greedy these guys are, they would never burn it. The sweet smell of corruption!
Every day I peer through the security bars into the pharmacy to check out the news and I was really surprised on Tuesday morning when I found out that the military had taken over. The lack of a television or earphones to use as an aerial for my Nokia 1100 is a real pain in the ass. So basically I don’t know anything until Shadreck who uses my space to sell newspapers pulls through. However, by midday things had changed. As a foreign news channel narrated of how the State House was taken over by the military, I held the bars tightly and thanked the Lord. Finally!
Fast forward to Saturday, the police and council blitz on us had stopped completely. Matter of fact, it was now a rare to see a police officer in the city center. The soldiers were running the show. Zimbabweans were asked by war vets and some other guys I do not know to get into the street and demand the fall of the legendary Bob. I feared and respected the guy at the same time. It was a love and hate relation, but I had failed to be anything in life. Blame it on my mupostori father who thought that education was evil or the government which failed to give us free education Conundrums!
A huge crowd in Harare poured into the streets. I was overwhelmed by emotion as I watched this sheer number of people trudge the streets of Harare’s CBD. I rushed to go get more stock. Today was a good day for profits and the police weren’t even around to get a bite of my money or steal my stock!”
Punk ass vendor used my space only to comment on the weekend in one paragraph. KMT! Until next time, Bob is still not my uncle!
Inini
