Sometime in May of this year, I was confronted with the realization of how much of a Rapsody fan I am. Often times, we are convinced we don’t like a certain thing or object because the timing is off.
There’s this thing I was gleefully forced to relate to when J Cole said, “I found it instrumental when I was on vacation, IB sent it a year ago but probably slept on it, sometimes things dont always hit when we press play”. And after having put up this quote, I find it pointless to elaborate on that point, because my assumption is it either should have hit you like a ton of bricks or you should have been confronted by an epiphany that hit you like a ton of bricks, so I guess what I’m saying is potato, potatoe.
Life has this wicked sense of humor that if the possibility ever presented itself, I’m beyond confident that it would reincarnate as a top tier, upper echelon comedian operating at a level of Richard Pryor-meets-Katt-Williams: deep and thought provoking, but also quick to smack you on the side of your face with funny and humorous brutality exuding a certain “Je ne sais quoi” also known as the bravado of an overzealous side stepping 80s inspired backup singer trying to be Beyoncé.
However, needless to say, fast forward from my introduction to the artist/rapper from Kendrick Lamar’s TPAB’s “Complexion,” and a few breakthroughs, breakdowns and heartbreaks after, time has finally afforded me prescription for Rapsody to penetrate me and make me a fan with her latest project Please don’t cry.
This marks as Rapsody’s fourth studio album, indicative that this is a continuation of a story or collection of tales she’s been telling over the years. The project is introduced by a skit starring Phylicia Rashad and the star herself, overally the skit serves as a powerful introduction to the record as it oozes of the overarching theme of the album, finding yourself.
In a way, this record serves as a map, of the path and journey that Rapsody took, to find her way back to herself. It’s a tale as old as time, because part of being human is being deeply prone to error, however what’s also part of being human is finding your way back, even if you have to do it a thousand times.
Anyways, back to the skit, Rapsody explicitly expresses a sense of confusion, a desire of escaping the labyrinthine walls of this elusive and shifty matrix that’s rid of all logic. A lot of times, when we’re lost and confused, we dig ourselves further into a hole further away from the surface not because we’re failing to obtain answers, but because we’re asking the wrong questions.
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the abyss of the matrix, when you’re not asking the right questions, because you’ll be confronted by answers that you’ll blindly take without batting any eye, and yet the question was never the right one to begin with. It’s like taking antibiotics that are designed to cure bacterial infections when you’re suffering from a flu.
In the skit, Rapsody pays Phylicia a visit, seemingly in an attempt to sponge up some perspective and wisdom from her, and before she can complete saying her question, Phylicia interrupts to tell her what the right questions she should be asking is, before she failed and got it all wrong. she says to her, “Question is, do you know why you’re here?”, to which she swiftly admits that it’s a much better question.
Which brings me a popular idiom, curiosity killed the cat, as human beings, we’re set up and designed in a way that makes us long and fiend for that which we do not know, the idea is, maybe there’s another way and maybe there’s better alternative options. In as much as we have a fear of the unknown, that fear stems from our lack of knowledge and awareness, and because we dont have that knowledge we lack control over the object or the matter, and well, everyone likes control. However that curiosity to seize your power and control by attaining certain knowledge, can possibly dig you into deeper hole, starring into the abyss is a slippery slope, because the abyss stares back directly at you.
“That is a better question than I had, and I don’t know if I necessarily have the answers now, but I’m tryin’ to find my way to it even though I know, once you realize your own truth, you have to really live it, and the truth scares a lotta people, sometimes yourself, but I can’t walk around with this veil and—”
Rapsody proceeds to say, “—I don’t wanna try to fit into the program. I wanna get out—”, Phylicia responds in a manner that concludes this skit, and highlights the way, in part giving the answer to the right question that hadn’t been verbalised, but internalised regardless. “How?”
Baby, the only way out is in. I mean, do you even know who you are?
Next track on the project is called “Marlanna,” and it starts “M-A-R-L-A-N-N-A”, its as if she’s responding to the questions posed on the first track as she introduces herself, and everybody knows that when someone starts pulling out their government name, shit just got serious, and so…the journey to finding her way back to herself, begins, and it starts by answering the right questions.
The question of who are you is a transformative one, because it forces you to assert and define yourself, typically when asked this question most people’s go to is to describe other people’s perception of them, neglecting their own. Rapsody successfully evades this trap, because when you listen to this track, you dont have to be Einstein to understand that this is an introduction of herself soley based on her perception, so it’s not an elaboration on her identity, but a tell all on her “self-concept”.
Who is self? Not an easy question, most of us can easily speak on our identity, because its largely based on someone’s else’s intellect and opinion, but we are reluctant to even attempt to understand our self-concept because we dont want to be accountable and responsible. so in more ways than one, this project is very daring and candid. As the tracks wraps up and comes to a close, Rapsody asks herself:
Who am I in this reality? (You know who you are)
Who am I without accolades and huge salary? (Fuck all that noise)
Who am I if they don’t love me back the same as I came to love them?
Who am I without the views? (Yeah)
Who am I without the churches? (Yeah) Who am I without these verses? (Yeah)
To be this naked, tryna find my way out the Matrix for real? Who am I?
I think this serves as a testament to the rapper’s songwriting skills because its a perfect illustation of how the process goes when you’re digging deep within yourself and asking yourself the right but most difficult questions to answer. The journey of self-discovery is not an easy one, because somewhere along the way you’re forced to confront everything that you normally sweep under the rug, and as you go through that, you experience a whirlwind of emotions and feelings resemblant of a rollercoaster ride. Just when you think you’ve figured it out, you hit a wall that sends you in a spiral that it feels like you reach the precipice just to descend backwards again. However, the only way out is in, and so you carry on and keep trudging.
The most refreshing thing about Rapsody as an artist is the authenticity that engulfs her, in a world where the masses are so used and comfortable with the token image and perception of female rappers who are overtly sexual in their art, brand and lyrical content, she presents herself as not only an alternative, but as an individual. And perhaps she doesn’t get as much props for that as she could, because in a world where we know the formulas that have been proved, tested and confirmed to work, she chose the rocky path less travelled, she chose to dry something different, because she herself had embraced her individuality. On the track “Asteroids” featuring Hit-Boy, the first verse starts on yet another introductory note:
First name Marlanna, last name Evans (Hello)
Underappreciated, but I’m still the most respected (Right)
My insecurity is the fear of bein’ rejected (Uh)
When you this raw, they listen wit’ an erection (Uh)
Niggas pull the Drac’ before they rap about affection
There I go, hard to rap without a message (Yeah)
Part of what makes this a powerful project is how the tracks are interwoven seamlessly into each other running like an open sentence, making it seem as if it’s a conversation as Rapsody goes back and forth.
Throughout the record, Rapsody asserts herself and sets herself apart from the rest, as one should, something that a lot of us are not familiar with as we’re just following blindly to our peers and global trends that are connecting us under the world wide web. This is a theme that she repeatedly touches and elaborates on in this record, a theme so universal that we all can relate to as we’re all struggling to truly know ourselves and stick to our guns under the watchful eye and scrutiny of the world wide web, a phenomenon and technology that was invented to connect us, but ironically drives us further away from not only the people physically around us and in our reach, but also from ourselves, the person we need the most.
What’s status wit’ no character? That mirror is gon’ stare at me
I face it naked; now, I feel like Erykah—the world should see
I’m givin’ y’all a window seat, priorities
I stand within the gap like I was Yeezy; I know Weezy know the bridgе is weak
It would be wicked for me to applaud Rapsody for packing a lot of imperative and meaningful themes and concepts into this project and not ackownledge her lyrical ability, word play and prowess amidst of delivering her nuggets of wisdom. Listening to this record is like what I’d imagine church would feel like, if the preacher was a lyrical and conscious rapper who never falls short on the message but is quick to deliver cutthroat bars to remind you of their street competence lest you assume them to be soft because of their righteousness and moral inclinations.
Sometime last year, as I was also going through this seemingly never-ending journey of self-discovery it was revealed to me why self-love and self-care is such an important reveling and cathartic concept. This is because, it helps you set a standard of how you want people to relate to you, it forces you to come to the realization that you are not a generic human-being, therefore you do not ascribe to generic prescriptions.
“DND (its not personal)” is the 4th track on this project, and it serves as an ode to self-care and self-love. Having the world at the click of the button is exciting, but its also quite perplexing and unsettling, this technology/digital rennaisance did not come without a price to pay, and often that price is your peace of mind. However Rapsody presents us with a reminder of something we tend to overlook and pay no mind to as a temporary remedy to our mental turmoils, and its called the DND button, widely and easily accesible, but colossally underused and unappreciated.
Selfish wit’ my day; I just wanna be left alonе—uh!
It’s me, myself, and me; do not disturb mе
I ain’t got it, whatever you ’bout to ask me
For my money, my time, or my energy
That’s on lock like money, power, and respect are
When I’m in my car, vibin’ in the streets
I need space like stars, I need time to think
Stella Rose I drink when I’m home alone
Don’t take it personal if I DND the phone
Despite this project having the richness similar to that of a fully bodied wine, it is ultimately a hip hop album. Rapsody displays a certain level of versatility encompassed by most but styled exceptionally by few throughout the project by experimenting and using different styles of music lined into the sonic production of tracks and in the style of vocal production.
Tracks like, “Black Popstar” featuring Dixson showcase Rapsody embodying and bodying a different kind of rapping that’s more in tune with the sound of today’s hip hop, which is fast and trappy, with a beat that slaps and bops at the same time, doesn’t matter what the lyrical content is, as long as it sounds good to rap along to whilst we take digital footprints. Regardless, the track serves its purpose and is definitely a much needed break from the solemnity that the record starts out with. But almost as if serving as proof of what the rapper mentioned in that bar I mentioned before from Asteroids, where she goes “There I go, hard to rap without a message”, she ends this pop version of rap track with a meaningful and deep outro
Sometimes, you just get tired of feelin’
And you just wanna go have fun
You wanna numb it all
If you ain’t cryin’ ’bout it, what you doin’? We dancin’ through it
If you ain’t cryin’ about it, what you doin’? We fuckin’ through it
If you ain’t cryin’ ’bout it, what you doin’? We smilin’ through it
We laughin’ through it, we jokin’ through it
Suppression
But I was told the only way out is in
Said, at some point, you gotta face it
Let’s talk about it.
There she goes, hard to rap without a message.
There’s further proof of versatility on tracks such as “Raw,” featuring Lil Wayne, where sis is just going hard, going toe to toe with some Weezy wordplay, “3 A.M” featuring Erykah Badu touching on affairs of the heart topped with a meaningful platonic bond, and “Never Enough,” a reggae inspired track, “Loose Rocks” featuring Alex Isley, to mention a few.
Other important topics that are touched on in this album range from a discussion of personal traumas from the artist herself, and things such as dementia she’s having to deal with in her family circle, being there for friends who’ve lost parents to addressing the media and its intrusive and incessant nagging inquisitions about her sexuality and the likes, above all of that is an overarching theme of growing pains.
It’s a special kind of pain and affliction that comes with growing up, where now one is forced to deal and confront with things they had the comfort of paying ignorance to for such a long time, the growing never-ending responsibilities to other people and important things, the growing age of the most important people around you, and ultimately the change. Change is a such a powerful thing, and perhaps we tend to neglect to remember that with change comes a certain inescapable permanence, that forever changes the course of history.
To wrap this up, Rapsody’s Please Don’t Cry is a concept album, that focuses on universal themes in their complexity and intricacy, all the while endowing next-level-rapper-antics. More so it’s a well though out project that clearly wasn’t bred out of a vacuum, and certainly wasn’t intended for any Casper ghosts.
This record is made for multidimensional folks that are a summation of different chapters in their lives as opposed to just one as its embedded by numerous collaborations that bring a different kind of vibe, energy and meaning to the record, i.e Yung Baby Tate who came through with the vocals on “A ballad for homegirls,” Ms Erykah also delivered a rhythm and blues ambiance to “3A.M” a love-record littered with allusions to Brown Sugar’s Sydney and Dre, to mention a few.
Ultimately it’s a project that’s designed to move you till you cannot be moved anymore, because you’re stuck on facing your issues and dealing with the abyss that’s stared right back at you head on. It’s a project you live with, because everyday you’re picking some new discovery apart, and gnawing at it, like a dog with a bone. It’s a project you constantly go back to you, because unlike glitter, it is not phased by elements such as time, but rather refined into maturity by the passage of father time.
