Alcohol is everywhere all the time. Every moment in life can be commemorated with alcohol. Getting married? Champagne toast! Graduating from college? Keg party! Finishing work for the day? Happy hour! It’s Saturday? Let’s drink! It’s Monday? Let’s drink again. Going on a date? Drinks! Breaking up with someone? Shots!
I am not immune to any of this. In fact, I gladly partake in all the festivities, and I believe so does most of you. Ergo, when the po-po announced on Friday morning that they were banning the sale of tummy busters in retail outlets countrywide in the wake of the 21-days national lockdown, it hit home hard for many of us. A part of me wanted to see this whole thing going differently, but from the timelines and the conversations we eavesdropped to, it was as clear as day that folks were concerned and desperate. Heartbroken, some said.
The ban, it was said, was to minimise social disorder and allow shops to sell only “essential” products during the shutdown. And as if word alone was not drubbing enough, the police were deployed in full force to take action on shops that defy the ban.
Police spox Assistant Commissioner Paul Nyathi said the measure came as citizens were defying social distancing measures.
“The lockdown measures were clearly stated and in light of ensuring that we fight COVID-19, there will be no sale of alcohol at any point in places like bottle stores and supermarkets. This comes as we have realised that people who buy alcohol at supermarkets are giving us challenges. They buy and drink as groups, be it either in their vehicles or places of residence thereby defying social distancing,” said Asst Comm Nyathi.
The Southern African Alcohol Policy Alliance (SAAPA) Zimbabwe also applauded the bold step explaining that it was concerned about building a healthy nation and empowered communities.
Now, fellas if you recall very well, we talked about this earlier on when I said a homie of mine went to a liquor centre on Saturday evening. She was half expecting to show up and see a sign that said “Closed. You Know Why.” That didn’t happen. You guys were queered up for the oats soda like it was some Unplugged or Madirirano weekend with zero regards to social distancing. Seemingly, the cops weren’t amused about any of that and they hit us with the ban, for chrissake.
A thing of your own making, we saw you in your homes yesterday wallowing too long in sadness like a soaring lonesome rocketman. You probably do something wildly rebellious and said or did things to your family out of spite.
We saw you sharing too much about your ordered divorce with alcohol on social media, declaring that it was a war that you were over-willing to die for. Beer pundits friends of mine were saying that the government’s decision to ban alcohol sell was not a bright idea as throughout the history of warfare, especially in Europe and America, beer has been the soldier’s “water of life.” There seemed to be a concurrence that beer was a prelude to battle as the effects of alcohol ameliorated the natural fear of injury or death in armed conflict. “Napoleon Bonaparte is credited with having said, an army travels on its belly. Maybe he should have added that the belly should be full of beer,” said another, driving home that COVID-19 was a war of kind that humanity was going against.
We came across videos of you sobering as Wiz Khalifa & Charlie Puth elergise in the background.
How #twimbos feel about the alcohol ban pic.twitter.com/kOjw3sAYP6
— Jeff Murimbechi (@jeffreydanai) April 3, 2020
Some of you even refused to talk about your feelings about it as if you didn’t care, while others refuse to cry because crying meant that alcohol or the police win. Basically, y’all thirsty boozehounds that did not stock much liquid bread to sustain the twenty-one-days lockdown abruptly stopped being optimistic about the future. It was like, if #ThatRona doesn’t get me, then polydipsia won’t spare me.
There was even a few, who have long struggled with drinking but couldn’t quit because alcohol rocks, and you couldn’t say no every time your homies show up with a bottle of Hennessy, that said, Ok, time to reinvent myself. Because you wanted so much to placate your highly disapproving clean-living families, you made new vows that you now want the chill in your hand; you wanted to hear the kshhh sound when you pull the tab, and then the fizz when you pour it over a frosty glass of ice. You wanted to taste the icy sweetness with the crisp twist.
Anyway, all of that doesn’t matter anymore, dear #Enthuse-iasts, as you know that in times of crisis heroes often come from an unlikely source. Your grievous orisons, loud as thunder, were heard that the police and our very good friends at Delta Beverages agreed that supermarkets and registered bottle stores should continue selling alcohol during the 21-day lockdown.
Zimbabwe as a nation are such alcoholics that the government reversed the Alcohol Ban because ppl were doing home delivers of crates of Alcohol SKSKSKSKSKSKS
— ༄ (@RVMBIIE) April 3, 2020
Be that as it may, the good news comes with a streak of conditions because, you know, we are in the middle of a global pandemic. We are not allowed anymore to publicly consume alcohol.
“The Zimbabwe Republic Police wishes to clarify on the issue of selling of liquor by supermarkets that have got exemptions (and) are allowed to sell liquor to members of the public for consumption, off-the-premises. All licensed bottle stores or outlets who offer off-premises sales are reminded to conduct their business according to COVID-19 guidelines,” Asst Comm Nyathi said in an anticipated climbdown.
Cops insisted that drinkers should not gather in public places, and those caught doing so will be fined up to RTGS $500.
As I’m seated here with a glassful of hooch and celebrating our triumph, I’m also made to realise that World Health Organization (WHO) recently cautioned against turning to alcohol to cope with the coronavirus lockdown as it can have severe implications on mental and physical health. The international health authority recommended that people should be ‘minimising the unhelpful coping strategies of using tobacco or alcohol’.
Of course, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol is never good and an especially bad idea during the coronavirus pandemic. A number of studies have shown how excessive alcohol consumption can weaken the immune system and make you more susceptible to pneumonia, acute respiratory stress syndromes (ARDS), and sepsis. Alcohol can affect the production and function of many of your immune system cells such as macrophages and neutrophils, and can also weaken the cells lining the respiratory tract and the tiny, little hairs called cilia that help sweep up and out the bad stuff from the respiratory tract.
Nevertheless, other researchers did acknowledge the difficulty many people face adjusting to prolonged isolation and said all the negativities above doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to completely cease alcohol consumption during the pandemic. There’s evidence that moderate alcohol consumption will adversely affect your immune system. In fact, studies have suggested that moderate alcohol consumption can be associated with positive psychological benefits that include reduced stress, tension, and self-consciousness and increased overall affective expression, a scientific way of saying that you will come up with better pick-up lines and the like. There are also correlations with increased happiness, euphoria, and conviviality.
So, a drink or two is not much of a bad thing.
Happy fifth day of lockdown, Zimbabwe.
