This week’s brief Entry comes from someone simply named ‘The Heartbroken Feminist’ titled ‘Things that I wish I could say.’
I look at the past and yearn for the present…thoughts of the past consume me. There’s something nostalgic about meeting someone from your past, it could be an ex-lover, friend now turned enemy/ stranger, (Some Gotye anyone?) or simply a childhood neighbour you knew before you could barely count to ten. Something about that past and present fusion or how dislodged your lives become because of the time apart. Progress, regression, lightning speed and snail like paces. Changes and then like a cruel joke similarities in experiences of previous, love, loss, slow healing and failure.It’s not that I wish that it could be, once again it’s more like an imprint of you, interconnections laughs, smiles and pet names. Future plans of babies and migrations…Certainty of you, me, and us in one vicinity. I once thought that you were into me…so deep…deep enough to drown and resuscitate yourself but alas we were a sinking ship, doomed from the get go, the feelings lost flow when you let go of the us and let parts of you be with someone new. So where does that leave me? Licking my wounds, licking my fingers for comfort, flicking over any stray in my fortress. Walls, made high, strong, a whole new moral high-ground made standard. Once … I was stranded but Ndabho… flashback memories fill the blanks as I get blinded by the light of my photographic memory, one day you’ll only be the past of me, my behind as I recollect minus the regret of the meetings and fleetingness of what was then a romance. You now know my thoughts and recollections One day I will forget your very impression…on me, I will forget what could have been. Only then I shall cease to care.
The Heartbroken Feminist
If you would like to contribute to The Entry, email us here
