UNPOPULAR OPINION: Anal Pleasure Doesn’t Imply Homosexuality

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A lot, and I mean a lot of men, find anal stimulation quite gratifying. They’re just really insecure about it and, in a bit, I’ll explain why.

For too long, society has labelled everything that it has failed to understand. And I don’t blame us. It’s only natural for our brain to make certain connections which are reinforced by our experiences or the experiences of others. In our brain, little neuro-pathways are formed, which leads to automatic behaviours, assumptions and thoughts.

If you were abused as a child by someone who loved to wear grey, it’s not surprising that you’ll be sceptical to be weary of people who love to wear that colour. This auto mechanism helps in a lot of ways. It means I don’t need to tell myself to run from a dangerous situation. I just run.

But the disadvantage is that this is also quite lazy too. It makes it easier to categorise life and people. Men are dogs. Blacks are lazy. Indians are dirty and so on.

Our brains are naturally wired to be prejudiced just like every living thing is heading towards a state of chaos. Entropy.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand.

It’s easy for people to assume that all men that enjoy anal stimulation are gay.

And that couldn’t be more untrue. Yes, some men enjoy are but that doesn’t impose that sexuality on all men who find themselves venturing into that arena.

I sometimes feel that a lot of men that have been told either by people or themselves that they’re gay actually aren’t. I mean, how many people will tell you as a man that yes, you can like it in the butt and still be straight? In the end, we’ve ended up labelling something that is as vast and complex as the human being itself.

Anatomically, it’s actually been proven that due to the prostrate being more accessible through the anus, it’s actually more stimulating and easier for a man to orgasm from anal stimulation.

And by the way, just because someone ejaculated doesn’t mean they orgasmed. It’s unfortunate that in society we make up our own correlations, but the correlation isn’t always mutually exclusive with causation. Don’t be lazy guys.

Your guy could be ejaculating every time you do have sex, but he could be left feeling unsatisfied. Which is when you hear that he left your girlfriend for another man. Maybe he decided to try something new, and it opened up a whole arena of pleasure. Something he felt too ashamed to ask his woman because he felt she’d view him differently. So he decided to explore privately, not because he was actually physically attracted to other men, but because he couldn’t get what he wanted from the opposite sex.

It s like the way cross-dressing has been turned into a gay thing. It isn’t. In a lot of cultured across the globe, it’s completely normal for men to dress and accessorise like women. It’s funny how the same Americans who boast of being liberal are the very people that imposed these prejudices. Those people (smh).

Now men who fancy women’s clothing can’t even carry out their whims because we live in a shallow-minded society.

It wasn’t always like that, though. Not here in Africa, anyway. That all just came with white settlers who forced us into thinking we were sinful, but that’s a whole other forte of discussion.

I’ll never forget how my one married friend told me once that he wished he could choke his wife, bdm style. He couldn’t, obviously, because he didn’t want to be judged and seem like a dirty pervert.

Intimacy shouldn’t be restricted. It’s a place of exploration where our deepest secrets should come out. It’s should be therapeutic. I mean, if you even have to behave in the bedroom after having to put up a front in society, how will you ever just relax?

Stop being so close-minded and open yourself up to a reality different from the one you grew up in. The world is vast.

And ladies. Eat that man out.

Valerie Tendai Chatindo

Valerie Tendai Chatindo

Valerie Tendai Chatindo is a biochemistry graduate from the University of Zimbabwe. She is also an entrepreneur and freelancer, writing for Enthuse Afrika's publications #enthuse, Hallelujah Magazine & Bhizimusi.com. Her articles “Big Brother Is Always Watching” and “Marriage-ability” have been featured in The Kalahari Review. Currently, she resides in Harare, Zimbabwe. In her spare time, she films a social documentary, SouthPark Harare, which addresses social issues in Southlea Park. You can find her on Twitter @tendy_vchatndo and read her blog tendyv.wordpress.com

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