Oh Boy, I Am Committed To Suicide

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I have read one too many stories of Africans committing suicide, for various reasons with a common feeling of being unable to deal with pain.

Africa now has the highest rate of suicides globally at 11.2 per 100,000 people with most cases being men.

To put it into context, Zimbabwe’s suicide rate for 2019 was 14.10, a 0.71% increase from 2018. Even sadder is the striking reality that almost every week the press features a suicide story as though it were a weather forecast.

Many mental health issues in Africa go undiagnosed and are usually attributed to demonic forces, dramatic or attention-seeking behaviour.

Mental health issues breed from life’s adversities including but not limited to the Covid-19 pandemic’s impositions, bereavement, abuse, conflict, loneliness and trauma.

More than one billion people live with an undiagnosed or treated form of mental disorder.

As we look towards September which is Suicide Prevention Awareness month, raising awareness of the causes of suicide and ways to prevent suicide is a must!

Our churches, workplaces and homes are the most influential spaces that can help us fight the rise in suicide. It is important that we utilise these spaces for positive change in order to reduce suicide cases and mental health issues in the youth who are the future.

In Africa, there are other factors that contribute to mental health issues beyond the inability to deal with pain. As most African countries are categorised as third-world countries, we suffer from poverty, homelessness, social, medical, financial and employment stress.

Mental health is the leading cause of sickness, absence at work and also the most ignored.

Depression is the most common mental disorder, among others like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, dementia and development disorders such as autism.

As of the 28th of August 2022, this is the recurring news on suicide cases in Zimbabwe.

Let us just dwell on this real-life shared story for a clearer picture of suicide and the thoughts surrounding it:

‘At a very early age, my parents divorced. With no clue as to what exactly that meant, I was always caught between the two completely different lifestyles when visiting either parent. I discovered the lack of love from a mother who isn’t your biological mother at a young age. My mind became my home where I resided in the calm of my thoughts- in my own world. As an only child, most of my friends were stuffed animals and my diary- something I learnt from western cartoons and my grade 5 teacher who implemented secret exchange between her and each student in a secret diary form. I had a lot of thoughts as to why my parents weren’t as happy or together as those of my friends. At an early age, inadequacy crept my mind and I found myself feeling worthless and unable to control life- which is why at my good age I fear making decisions as it triggers mass anxiety within me. This leads to feelings of inadequacy and lack of worth. Without worth, I am better off dead! The chain of poetic ways to commit suicide cascaded my mind, my heart, my soul and it became a friend. I’d cry at the thought of family crying over me and still felt they would all be better without me. The first attempt was pill overdose at the age of 14 years following an incident at school. The God in me was to sensible to allow me to do it. So often I find myself holding my breath for so long, listening to my heartbeat slow down, but again the God in my mind grasps at air. I still ponder the best way to commit the deed- one without pain, drama or fear but a way that makes sense and helps the world to understand my pain.’ – Anonymous sweet lady

We never see how others’ character flaws are birthed by mental health conditions. It’s important to be there for one another and to desist from the street talk responses like; ‘ma1’ or ‘pakaipa’ and to find the truth of how we feel and work towards getting better and facing our fears or adversities.

One suicide is too many. As we step into September, it’s important to actively raise awareness and action towards ending suicide and increasing care given to individuals suffering from mental health conditions.

If you have journeys about yourself in different instances where your mental health was compromised – do share with us anonymously or as yourself in our email-efuruzw@gmail.com.

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