With way this heat wave business is setup in Harare, I might spend the rest of this summer frowning and sleeping. At 7am it’s already sweltering hot and walking around in the streets is already Mission Impossible. I feel pity for those who go to work, especially the guys who sell airtime by the traffic lights. How do you stand in this sun for the whole day and not faint?! Ninjas are extraterrestrials! However this also affects us the regular jobless ghettoyuts. I can’t have my daily dosage of kush now, I have reduced my daily intake to a couple of breaths and the sun does not permit me anymore. How do these msombodhiya guys do it though? It’s bloody hot! But that’s not what I want to talk about, Let Me Explain.
Ever since I dropped out of school, I’ve been a permanent feature at my house. Even the roaches know me, we are cool like that. We respect each other’s space! The only entertainment I have is a couple of movies in my laptop and some music. But I’m a big fan of cable TV. Isn’t it just amazing to surf through the channels until you find the perfect programme to watch. The variety of shows on offer fam! It’s like shopping at Bend down Boutique, sifting through the tons of clothes until you find the perfect one that you won’t even try on. You just mentally visualize yourself in it and straight up know that it’s the perfect size. That is what channel surfing feels like to me. Hundreds of channels and a lot of programmes that may raise curiosity but there is that one programme that leaves you torn on what to watch. Dammit! I hate being indecisive. But it’s not the channels I want to talk about Let Me Explain.
I hate my siblings. But I don’t show that in public or anywhere else except in the lounge. Here is the thing, only one TV (the one in the lounge) is connected to cable (DSTV) and everyone demands a ‘chance’ to watch the TV. Let me break this down for you. Everyone exits the house in the morning and I remain at home with mum and the maid. I mostly wake up at 9. I can’t watch TV in the morning because of cleaning gwans. Plus I would be need to meditate so I proceed to the base to get some highest. After about 4 hours of sticking I return home at one to catch lunchtime and chill for a while, but in less than 30 minutes my little sister is dropped by her school bus and then the Nickelodeon marathon starts. You can’t change the channel whilst she is in the lounge. So I send her to do some errands so that I can catch up on a few shows. At 5pm my younger brother drops off and the Nickelodeon support base grows. Two more rascals also come and I will be out numbered. So yes it’s Spongebob for the larger part of the day. The f*ck! Dad comes and straight up changes to Al Jazeera! That’s the end of the day. I was home but I did not watch TV!
And this is my everyday life. Do I not have right to the remote too? Do I have to suffer because I am the family’s own guard dog? Sh*t, I need a job. I need to move out. I need to buy my own TV. I need to chill and watch TV. Sounds corny I know, but we all have different life goals. A couch potato I shall be only if you Let Me Explain.
ININI
