I’m particularly not in a good mood today. In the recent weeks I have been going through a few changes in my life. I moved out of home and work has been hella hectic. We are renovating a block of flats and I had no time to send through a contribution. This no hairline Content Manager has been on my ass about this and today I decide to tell you about my first glimpse at the life of being a lodger. Its hectic. Let me explain.
Firstly, I am a bachelor. I stay on my own in my one room which serves as the kitchen, lounge and bedroom. On the other end, I have a lot of friends. Since I’m living on my own now, most of them tend to visit me when I knock down a bottle of Pushkin or two. Most of my mates are unhygienic. Since my room is in the main house, the guys have to use the back entrance and walk down a passage leaving a trail of shoeprints which piss of my landlord. However that’s not the big issue.
It’s a known fact that during the consumption of alcohol, you tend to visit the loo a lot. My friend in their drunkenness, have reduced aim when they are emptying their bladders. They pee all over the toilet seat and on the floor. It becomes a problem in the next morning because I wake up very early so I don’t do house duties. Long story short, I’m the reason the toilet is always filthy in the morning and I do not clean. My landlord is always pissed.
AS I said I wake up very early. Every male in this house wakes up very early. There is only one bathroom in this house, which doubles as the toilet too. Imagine this, I’m late for work and my landlord is late too. As I walk towards the bathroom my landlord is popping out of his bedroom wearing boxers, pot belly hanging terribly under his waistline, towel on his shoulder and his eyes fixed on mine. What do you do. This is your landlord. The bathroom is still his even if I pay rent and I’m also late for work. Hectic right?
I like watching movies, especially action packed ones with lots of fight scenes and shootouts. I also happen to own a very good home theatre system. Now, I knock off at 7pm and I get home at 8. I put on a movie whilst I’m cooking. However, at that same damn time my landlord tunes in to ZBC TV for his daily dosage of the news. Everyday I hear a knock on my door and a message telling me to lower my volume. I can’t even enjoy my goddamn movie but I paid rent. Are you fucking kidding me!
Ever since I moved out of my parents house, I made it my mission to eat as much as I can. I bought a lot of fancy food stuffs and my small fridge is fully packed with meat and all. I want to spoil myself a little ka. I’m allowed! However its becomes hectic when I’m frying my eggs in the morning and the landlord is apparently eating yesterdays Sadza with veggies only. The scowl I get as I greet him in the corridor says it all. I paid rent, but I can’t enjoy my food in silence. My sin is that I am a lodger. Dangit!
Like any normal young male I have a lady and since I’m now living alone, she can come over for sleepovers. Problem is, my woman is a screamer. Whilst I’m busy laying pipe in the ungodly hours she screams so much the neighbours hear it. I personally like her screams. They sound like encouragements. But my landlord and the other lodgers don’t. I paid rent. It’s my room. I can do whatever I like. Right?!
Inini
