by Denzel Sibanda
It is important as a leader to lead from a place of truth rather than pretense because at some point this will backfire on you.
Recently, a South African celebrity, Somizi Mhlongo has been accused of being extremely abusive towards his partner Mohale while also being on a TV show where he was giving out dating advice to people. As a leader in his field, he has made history, inspiring millions to be themselves and to break boundaries but unfortunately, he has lost quite a few followers due to what happened.
Let’s talk about living a lie. Many of us do this because it’s safe, it’s secure and most importantly it guarantees acceptance. The honest truth is in our lives, we want to be loved and accepted by the people around us, what’s unfortunate is how we find ourselves practicing self-hate because we don’t want to be seen as bad.
Perception
As we stated earlier social validation is one of our most important priorities, especially when we are younger. When the people around us bring sadness into our lives by giving us conditional love, placing consequences over our behavior, and giving us every reason not to love ourselves.
Mindset
If we haven’t healed from our wounds and we are given a platform to lead individuals, we will not be as efficient because we have a lot of negative thoughts floating over us. In many instances, we will contradict ourselves and this will force us to question our leadership skills which also reaffirms our negative thoughts towards ourselves.
The Negative Consequences of Living a Lie
Initially, as we inspire people, they will be moved to take action and see themselves in a new light. But as always the truth tends to create itself some minor crevices through which it can seep. Some know how to keep up with the lies but at some point, it will blow up in your face. At this point, we will disappoint the people who believed in us and chances are it will be difficult to rebuild your reputation due to all the negativity that will be placed on you.
What to do from no now
Here’s the truth we can’t run away from ourselves, we can wear masks and fool the world but guess what we can’t fool the Universe. The Universe will force us to deal with ourselves and if we keep resisting the process our lives will be miserable.
When we are in pain, it is important for us to acknowledge it and figure out the source of the pain. Acceptance is difficult but we need to accept the experience as it is and the only way to make peace with it is by seeing it as an experience that had a lesson that you are meant to learn.
I’ll conclude by saying this a great leader isn’t perfect, great leaders take accountability for their mistakes, a great leader makes mistakes and does better when they know better but most importantly a leader isn’t perfect a great leader is a human being who is willing to grow and expand.
