Yesterday I was talking to a group of young men after work, a regular thing I do to just distress after a long and often frustrating day. We meet up in this random tuckshop every night and just talk and laugh. You have to love the ghetto. Anyways after talking to them, it dawned on me that almost every woman, in Zimbabwe, for the most part, must have a rape story.
I’m not necessarily talking about the stranger who jumps out of a bush or pedophiles masquerading as family members.
Nah.
I’m talking about the rapists that come in the form of our boyfriends, male companions, and husbands. The biggest perpetrators of all.
I’m talking about horrific wedding nights, honeymoons from hell, and sleepovers orchestrated by satan himself. I’m talking about the daily violation by a spouse and partner. By anyone really, who doesn’t take no for any.
Those rapists.
As long as men in this country believe that no doesn’t really mean no and that they are entitled to sleep with their wives and girlfriends as often as they please, then this silent rape will continue to occur.
The funny thing is society even finds that sort of thing acceptable. It’s unthinkable for a wife to say no to her husband and even if she does prove that she’s been violated she’ll get no assistance from the police here. I know of a child who had been raped by her grandfather and went to report the case. The assisting officer taking down her case made it a point to loudly shout ‘tine muriwo werape pano’ in a station full of people. As if the rape hadn’t been traumatizing enough. Now imagine the types of jokes that would be made if a wife went to report her husband.
As long as men think they are entitled to a woman’s body and as long as society condones that sort of behavior, nothing will ever change.
No really means no hey. I know a lot of guys don’t think so. They believe it’s all part of the lure and love it when a woman puts up a fight. I even heard one guy say that he wouldn’t want a woman who says yes or even initiates sex. They prefer the rapey vibes I guess.
