Dear SJ
My boyfriend is very moody and gets mad easily. He was great and everything when we started out. He has a baby momma on the side and I can’t stand her but that not really the issue. I’m not feeling this relationship anymore because of his attitude. I have come to a point where I’m always down because of him. He drinks but I wouldn’t say that he get’s too drunk. Something just isn’t happening in our relationship. How long can I stay like this?
– Losing track.
Dear ‘Losing track’
I’m sorry you are feeling that way about your relationship. A relationship – and I mean a real one – should build a couple. It should have you feeling good about yourself and about being wanted by the other person. Those two things are very important to women and men too although that the last thing we will say.
Sounds like you are dealing with an immature guy over here.
Someone teaches boys that being moody and angry is manly or some dumb shit like that. Your man is probably suffering from what my friend calls the Rambo Syndrome. Like I said last week, all human beings born with a penis need to see a therapist. He probably doesn’t even know what ticks him off. We males generally have a tick in our heads.
I’ll give you a trick: As a woman, always trust your instinct. Your instinct as a woman will never let you down in life. That is exactly why women feel so much. Males have instinct too but are systemised to suppress their instinct unless they are Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces star-signed men. Those 3 signs have an astrological triplicity and yet still that doesn’t make males under those signs feeling gurus unless some training goes in.
Your man is untrained.
That you feel so bad about him becomes your responsibility to end the relationship. Nobody deserves to feel bad about anything in life. Feeling bad about something is a natural response our bodies have for indicating that something is off. Your relationship is off and you cannot stay like this.
Dear SJ
I’m 30 and I have this guy friend that I had known for a couple of years. I’m avoiding saying we are friends to you! We slept together one night after meeting at the club and now we are awkward in person because we work near each other. He hasn’t called me since. What do I do?
– Smitten a bit.
Dear ‘Smitten a bit’
Ha! Admit it; you are “friends” with a boy! Look now. That’s why a boy and a girl can’t be friends. The boy will be un-evolved. Yep, immature is another word for un-evolved. He will be unable to declare his feelings for a woman. Although guys will catcall women on the streets universally across the world, hitting on a girl is actually much harder than guys make it seem as if it is.
Known him for years you said? Hawu! You hadn’t said anything about your feelings for him to him? Come on now, we both know that sleeping with a guy doesn’t just happen for women. Just as well, the culture frowns upon a woman who hits on a guy. I will tell you on good authority that it is only because the guy in question will be – yep, you guessed it – un-evolved! Call him. You can tell him about the fun you had the other night… Remember to use protection.
Sonny Jermain is an award-winning public health, maternal, sexual and reproductive health rights facilitator and a traditional psychic. This column appears Thursdays on Enthuse. Send questions to asksj@enthusemag.com or WhatsApp +263 77 274 8454. Follow @SonnyJermain.
