Dear SJ
I was dating this chick for some months and she was at school. She wrote her exams and became ulova (a school leaver). Ever since leaving school she has met other dudes who have finished exams and now I’m no longer good for her. Please help.
–Stressed out.
Dear ‘Stressed Out’
I’m sorry to hear that. She’s young and I take it she is younger than you. I’m sure you were in a long distance relationship and you didn’t realise it. Not only that, she well was wasting your time and it’s fair to call that she was seeing these other dudes at school and you didn’t know.
Nobody just wakes up with someone new while in a relationship. She cheated – with the many dudes you mention.
True, you are no longer good enough for her. Would there be a problem in that? She has the freedom to choose who is good enough for her. Don’t make that your problem. As you can tell, she clearly needs many dudes to rock her boat. Nasty young lady! The other question is – are you good enough to be with somebody who (i) needs many guys in her love life, (ii) someone who wastes your time and (iii) someone who flip-flops between you and other guys? I hope that’s a triple “no.”
She’s a cheat.
My only help is leaving her. You are too good for her actually. Does that make sense? Take your goodness and be good elsewhere.
Dear Readers
Relationships are testy and with the ever-changing culture, we are always presented with new challenges of navigating them. My forever message will be to stay authentic and that requires you to be direct in situations. If something/someone consistently doesn’t feel good, get out of it/them. There is no need to feel bad about walking away from anything that doesn’t feel good. It is inauthentic to be in a relationship that consistently doesn’t feel good.
It’s not easy and yet you have to walk away anyway.
I always tell people that King Lobhengula didn’t disappear only for you to suffer in the 21st Century!
I’m glad that you find #AskSJ as useful as I thought you would when it began. You supporting me in this platform has been totally amazing! I hope you had a good 2017 and here’s to an awesome 2018.
Thank you,
Sonny Jermain is an award-winning public health, maternal, sexual and reproductive health rights facilitator and a traditional psychic. This column appears Thursdays on Enthuse. Send questions to asksj@enthusemag.com or WhatsApp +263 77 274 8454. Follow @SonnyJermain.
