Dear SJ,
I’m in my 20s and I’d like to ask; is there a problem in young boys dating older women maybe in their 30s-40s? I like women in that age group. – Old soul.
Dear ‘Old soul’,
Hey, like what you like my guy! You are a consenting adult and have the freedom to explore your desires. No cheating! There has been a seismic shift over the past few years where younger guys now prefer older women. I’ve noticed that for a while. Humans evolve all the time.
Clearly, you are looking for maturity in terms of conversation, sex and life approaches. Although you must beware of the elders – they normally don’t like a guy bringing home an older chick and especially if she is a single mom. Best of luck.
Dear SJ,
I’m an 18-year-old girl. My ex and I have broken up because I’m a virgin. I don’t understand because we used to love each other. I still love him and I actually want to have sex with him but I’m afraid of what would happen if my mother were to find out that I’m no longer a virgin. – Love lost.
Dear ‘Love lost’,
The issue of virginity is a popular one. Boys want to marry virgins and yet want to have lot’s sex before marriage. Something I find completely bizarre! Boys don’t want their sisters to go out and yet want to go out and bed other bro’s sisters. Like, what kind?!
I know mothers have a lot to say to their daughters about virginity. Sooner than later, you will find out that there’s a switch where your mom and society will all of a sudden want you to have a ton of babies from nowhere. Deciding to have sex and deciding to have babies is something I encourage girls to think about individually without taking society into account because when you have sex and/or have a baby; the reality is you will be on your own.
As for him, don’t be pressured to sleep with him if you don’t want. If you do, go right ahead. My issue is, don’t have sex because you want to show him that you love him. Do it because you want to. Sex is a recreational activity and humans overrate it sometimes.
Sonny Jermain is an award-winning public health, maternal, sexual and reproductive health rights facilitator and a traditional psychic. This column appears Thursdays on #ENTHUSE. Send questions to asksj@enthusemag.com or WhatsApp +263 71 387 2286. Follow @SonnyJermain on Twitter.
