Zimbabwean, Songwriter, Rapper and Brand Strategist Tytan announced via Social Media last weekend that he had traditionally married Olinda, his UK- based beau. Their romance, the makings of any emotionally charged Reality TV show began under a year ago when Olinda broke up with Zimbabwean Rapper Stunner for a long list of misdemeanours including cheating, fat-shaming her and being the definition of being a scrub to be honest!
Quick to the rescue, Tytan in his Prince-Charming-esque demeanour stole Olinda’s heart and they’ve been an it-couple ever since. Despite the nasty comments about the age gap of 5 years and Olinda’s past, the couple seems to have overcome by making it official.
Now you know being a celebrity is a full-time job and it has been none the different for the now Mr and Mrs Nkomo. The issue…‘ Who paid Olinda Chapel’s Lobola?’
I know, super petty right?!
Although he’s on the record stating that he paid Lobola, the internet has been rife with the debate of British currency spotted as Bride Price in one the many videos Tytan shared excitedly on his wall.
Naturally, my thoughts went haywire.
Who needs Lobola anyway?
It’s 2018 after all. Just a few months ago a Zimbabwean woman filed a contestation against the practice. No surprise that some countries have officially abolished the practice even though lots of communities still practice it, In places such as Kenya or in Togo with a hundred bucks and a few household items one can get the gal of his dreams thus riding off into the sunset!
Whether you believe Lobola or Roora is the equivalent of an over the counter purchase or Nah, the reality is the Tradition has been responsible for either of the two things, uniting families towards a happily-ever-after or trapping a woman by reducing her to a mere commodity meant to abide by her husband’s rule of law.
So, what if paying your own Lobola levels the playing field?! Taboo as it may be in many an African Culture, many couples I know, have helped each other save the Lobola together. Although the pride paying it in full may be considered unusual, perhaps it’s time Patriarchy pays attention and realises that in this twenty-first century, women have no problem at all in taking the power back from norms that have lived off sapping everything mighty that is womxn!
By assuming Olinda paid her own lobola the assumption is, ‘this woman is desperate enough to pay her own way into marriage…Tytan must be trapped!’
If anything I think it’s sad that we have to abide by traditions that don’t apply to our relationships. Even if it does not take a rocket scientist to know that Olinda clearly earns more than Tytan! But, are we really stuck on that old-ass debate of miniature egos emasculated by the fact that a woman earns more?
In a chat over the phone with Tytan he said;
“the assumption is dumb, just because it was in pounds, I’m a capable earner, I manage brands and make my own living…if they are going to make assumptions I’m not him(Stunner), they need to zoom into my life “
From where we are standing, Tytan does not seem bothered at all if anything he’s annoyed. When we spoke we asked point blank, “Dude, did you pay the ‘lobola’?” to which he answered:
“When I shared this on my post I clearly captioned it, that I went through with this, I paid the Lobola.”
Also did we miss the crucial component of happiness, whether the money popped into his wallet miracle money style, or if he hustled and saved or if they hustled and saved or even if Olinda maxed out her card; could we shrug off the shade and think beyond the confines of how happily ever after ought to happen and how unexpectedly it can come into being?!
“It’s not like I bought a mansion, no one pays lobola in one go…people need to respect the fact that I got into this relationship to commit not to play.” – Tytan
Perhaps we have been asking the wrong questions, instead of did he or didn’t he? We need to ask why the idea of a woman going out there to grab her happiness infuriates so many of us.
As a side note, can I just point out that the idea of miniature Tytan and Olinda babes make me feel all kinds of broody, like have you seen these people? They look like sugar, spice and everything nice boxed into a selfie.
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