Image: Janko Ferlic
Birth Write

At The End Of The Barrel: To My Unborn Child

DESCULPA MEU FILHO ( I am sorry my child)

Sitting here thinking about, why… why you rejected my body… would have loved to feel you growing in my belly or at least hold you in my arms. Even just for a few days.

 

Would have taken better care of myself, had I known that such a beautiful thing was happening inside of me.

 

I keep thinking about all the alcohol I took. The stress I was going through. The argument I had that night…

 

Baby…Yes, literary baby… My baby…all that had nothing to do with you…Had you given me the chance, I would have chosen you …..

 

You should have hinted… At the same time, I should have paid more attention… I am sorry My baby… Desculpa meu filho (this was your DNA).

 

By now you would be running around, calling me mama. Was your hair going to be dusty black and frails like mine or thick and curly like your dad’s..   your skin tone, eyes, were you a girl or a Boy?

 

It’s been a few years now and still, I wish I had the chance to tell you How much I love you. YAHWEH knows why we couldn’t have you… I just wish WE had been given the chance to choose… I would have chosen you.

 

Desculpa me Filho…

 

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