#AskSJ: Why can’t a boy and a girl be friends?
Just Friends? | Photo by Godisable Jacob
Ask SJ

#AskSJ: Why can’t a boy and a girl be friends?

Dear readers

It’s been a year of Ask SJ on #ENTHUSE! Thank you for the support and all the questions. Cheers to the pursuit of a better life, love and light.

These past few weeks, I’ve been following several conversations about friendship and sex all over social media. If you’ve been following this column, you will know that I’ve been saying that a boy and a girl cannot be friends. I first heard my elders say so when I was younger myself and yes, like most people that I share this with, I didn’t believe it either.

I thought my elders were batshit crazy!

Well, fast forward to now, here I am, and here you are. It keeps me in business hahaha😁…

A girl will put a guy in the friend zone to test

It’s a test – if he is The Tease, The Fuck or The Man. Those are the only three types of guys. How long he stays in the friend zone will be entirely up to him and his courtship game. If she says “he’s like a brother” then it’s game over for him. If a woman refers to a guy as “a brother” and he isn’t actually her brother, he is nowhere near being the brother.

I’ll be very clear about this; there isn’t a woman in her right frame of mind that is interested in being with a guy that is The Tease or The Fuck.  Women, because they are well trained will try to make The Man out of a guy that is clearly scum or “a sascam”.

The online chatter degenerated to a point where someone asked if a boy and girl can have sex and still be friends.

Well, I never!

How does that even happen? How do you see someone’s ecstasy face and in their fagrante delicto and possibly think you can just be friends? This type of thing is exactly what drove poor Moses to the mountains. It burned him so bad that it had him carving stones! And now the whole world today is confused about the sex because of Moses and the things he wrote 3,000 years ago.

Sex is a line that has no turning point.


The Tease is a confused boy who has no clue, while the fuck is just as confused but uses sex to seem like The Man. The Man is a solid dude and it’s true, there are only a few good men.

If a boy and a girl are friends, he becomes The Tease and the Tease does not know that there is something in his pants that should be elongating accordingly. It’s biology that he just hasn’t figured out. By the time he does, he heads straight into The Fuck mode.

And because most humans of the world have bad parents, The Tease and The Fuck are two types of males that urgently need to see therapists. They are the reason why the male species is messed up. Sadly, women really love The Tease and The Fuck.

In the meantime, let’s continue to Ask SJ.

Sonny Jermain is an award-winning public health, maternal, sexual and reproductive health rights facilitator and a traditional psychic. This column appears Thursdays on Enthuse. Send questions to asksj@enthusemag.com or WhatsApp +263 71 387 2286. Follow @SonnyJermain.

Ask SJRelationships + Sex & Stuff

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