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Ask SJ

#AskSJ: ‘Cheating is a Demonstration of a Lack of Training’

Cheating is a demonstration of a lack of training.

Dear SJ

I caught my girlfriend in a cheating situation where she had been seeing another guy as well as me. I’m 24 and she’s 21. I’ve been angry and blocked her. She asked her friends to apologise on her behalf and all that. I randomly bumped into her and it was unavoidable to speak to her. She says it was a big mistake and it won’t happen again. I really loved her and I want some advice on whether it’s a good idea to take her back.
– Cheated on


Dear ‘Cheated on’

Once again the Love & Hip Hop generation strikes. I appreciate that some people have the patience to take a cheat back. Cheating is just deplorable and is my Rule #1 of relationship don’t-dos.

Cheating is a demonstration of a lack of training. Particularly, cheating is an indication of what your lover was or wasn’t taught by their mother and/or father. Where would someone have got that idea from? What was her story f cheating if any?

Some people “work things out” after a partner cheats and I don’t recommend it at all. Exposure to sexually transmitted diseases is out here dripping without any finesse at all! I consider cheating to be reckless and you are too young to be settling and solving such. If the situation was reversed and you were the one cheating, I would say the same thing. There is a tendency to side sweep cheating by guys and these days it’s a sport.

Don’t play games that diminish your manhood.


Dear SJ

There is this guy I’m into. We were classmates in high school and I’ve known him for a couple of years. How do I get him to take our “friendship” to the next level?
– Crush Girl.


Dear ‘Crush girl’

Go on and tell him how you feel.

Any one that tells me they have feelings for someone gets that as my default answer. You tell the person so that they know. We tend to act out our feelings and hope that the other person will just get it. You also tell the person so that you can get it out of your system.

You will either get a yes or a no.

In the sexist world we now live in, a girl hitting on a guy may be considered forward and the dude might be scared off even. If he tells you no, it will be because he cannot see his greatness that you can see and that’s why he took so long to say anything himself. He will have some growing up to do because he’s The Tease.


Sonny Jermain is an award-winning public health, maternal, sexual and reproductive health rights facilitator and a traditional psychic. This column appears Thursdays on Enthuse. Send questions to or WhatsApp +263 77 274 8454. Follow @SonnyJermain.



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