Ask SJ

#AskSJ : Pained by being The Tease

How does one exit being The Tease?

Dear SJ: How does one exit being The Tease?
No story – just tired of being the flirt boy. – Flirt boy.

Dear ‘Flirt boy

You are tired and yet you are just getting started.

The Tease for readers who may yet to be initiated is a male that is in Stage One of manhood. The Tease as you aptly put it is a flirt boy who offers nothing beyond flirting to a girl. The Tease unconsciously spends a copious amount of time acting as if he is interested in a girl. He may even do this to several girls at the same time. All of this is done under the illusion that “we are just friends.”

A boy and girl cannot be friends. I will repeat this for eternity.

What the hell do you mean “no story?” Of course there are thousands of stories you are not telling me because you are trying to get an easy way out. You wouldn’t be tired if there was no story. Where is the tiredness coming from? Your flirt game right…

New rules! Whenever you are faced with a female, be polite, be nice and keep it moving. No hugging. Seriously, no hugging! There is a hugging epidemic that has been flying around with city kids for decades and it’s bad for relationship business. You absorb and/or emit bad energy hugging people you shouldn’t be hugging. City kids have cheapened hugging.

It goes without saying – keep it professional at work. No sharing of personal problems with Rumbi-from-the-office unless you are actually interested in her. If you are not interested in Rumbi-from-the-office, her name is Rumbidzai thank you! Careful because when things go wrong, work won’t be fun and the both of you will be the HR manager’s biggest nightmare. Then one of you will have to lose their job.

Naturally, the next stage would be for you to be The Fuck. The Tease and The Fuck are no different in behaviour with the exception of the involvement of sex. Being The Fuck is hard because for most boys it’s a “hump-and-dump” anything in a skirt. That comes with a lot of emotional baggage. The same emotional baggage you are carrying as we speak as a result of being The Tease.

Stop lying to women.

Lies are The Tease’s playbook. Don’t lie to women to get sex either. That adds to your problems more than you can imagine and you’ll be back to #AskSJ some more. If it is sex that you only want – and we are being practical over here – go to the club and play there. If that’s too tedious or not your thing, then sex workers are your best option. You are in. You are out. No mental problems. No emotional problems. Use condoms always and be in a safe place to avoid physical problems. Make sense? Girls at the club will sooner or later require some form of emotional attachment. Or vice versa! And someone will get hurt. It’s basic biology.

Stay very far away from most church girls and virgins – that lifestyle teaches them to be impractical about sex in life. Few, are practical.

Ask SJ

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