PERVERTS! PAEDOPHILES! TOTAL SLEAZE-BALLS! SLUTS!
These are some of the words that come to mind when most people think about sex addicts. In some instances, I have heard that sex addiction is just a label to excuse or justify “bad behaviour”.
The stigma of being a sex addict is crippling. As noted above, you are branded a pervert, or a slut, someone that can’t control their impulses and lives life with a wake of broken relationships in their midst.
But tell you what; this disease is often seriously misunderstood in conservative countries like Zimbabwe. It is a common secret that many people enjoy sex. However, some of us wish to engage in it more often than we normally do. Now, there is a potential danger on that as those persistent sexual desires, thoughts, and behaviour can become unwelcome and very problematic.
To the both of you who still check out this corner of the web with any regularity or to the smart folks who are always open to word on the proverbial streets, the Bayethe Development Institute produced web show, The Naked Show premiered last night.
According to the producers, the show serves as an interactive and all-encompassing platform focusing on the provision of comprehensive, accurate and non-judgmental Sexual and Reproductive Health Education to Zimbabweans, and primarily targeting LGBTQIA+ persons, the youth, and the girl child.
The first episode, dubbed “Sex Addiction” run for over 21 minutes, and it features Rebecca “Miss Becky” Muchenje and Sociologist Monica Muchenje as her guest. It begins with a vox pop segment with various people sharing what they think it means to be sexually addicted, and also the “normal” number of times one should indulge in intercourse before they can be considered an “addict”.
Perhaps the highlight of the vox pop segment is Harare-based photographer and filmmaker Alex “Zezuru Rockstar” Gusha saying folks should “shag” for six solid days of the week, and rest on the seventh, as God did during creation. Now that’s some funny sh*t.
Hilarity aside, Monica brings to the fore several really interesting issues around sexual addiction.
Principally, she notes that in Zimbabwe and Africa as a whole “issues to do with sexual addiction are not viewed as a problem per se”. Rather, hypersexuality, as sex addiction is often referred to as, is celebrated as a macho thing in men, and in women, it is celebrated as well because it acts as validation that one can satisfy men. You are branded a “sex machine”.
Now, that was the issue that made me realise that we could all be sexual addicts and not even know about it. Or we could be normalising and celebrating it.
While Muchenje speaks on the difference between having a high-sex drive (libido) and sexual addiction, the line can be blurry for many of us, and she kinda confirmed it when she said:
“Medically, sex addiction has not been really determined hence we are finding it difficult to describe or name the number of times (one should have sex to be considered as an addict). But we are saying that even personally when you see yourself wanting to have sex more times that it even strains your body; even your mind, you can’t concentrate at work; you don’t have a social life; you are finding it difficult even to associate with your family; you find yourself spending most of your time planning your next escapades like you are not thinking of anything else but that, even production is affected when you are at work. Like you retreat to the bathrooms and you start watching porn and you masturbate, then that is the challenge. These are some of the side effects.”
That said, she also made it clear that the consequences of addiction to sex are severe for the sufferer, so being able to identify the signs and symptoms of this rapidly escalating disorder is key to recovery.
Watch the full episode here. It’s worth it!
