I recently made a new friend who happens to be living in Cuba and has been for the past six years. Of course, my first question about Cuban society was the issue of racism and the general behaviour of the society.
From our chit-chats, I learn that Cubans are actually a very friendly and accommodating group of people. It is a norm for the youth to give up their seating places for the elderly (something which sometimes happens in Zimbabwe) and for men to give up theirs for the women (something that never happens in Zimbabwe).
Some might simply call it chivalry, an attribute which our men obviously and painfully lacks. In my opinion, it goes deeper than that.
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about our society is that it is an anti-women society, and out of all the African countries I believe Zimbabwe has the worst case of it because it is passive. The men here passively hate us.
I was getting onto the Zupco minibus today (Mon 8, March), the seat next to me was free because one guy was sitting by the engine aka ‘kadoma’. When this other woman was about to get on, the man next to me told the ‘kadoma’ guy to take the empty seat with the end result being the woman being the new ‘kadoma’ holder.
And this was on International Woman’s Day, people.
I mean, just look at all the hate perpetrated against women. Verbal assaults in the street, rape, domestic violence and all manner of slut-shamming. If it wasn’t for the law that was passed against street abuse, it was only a matter of time before mass public rape became a thing.
It’s not only that, but the inability for men to see you as something other than a sex object. I can’t walk 100 meters from my house to the grocery store without having men accosting me. That is disgusting.
And if they can’t fuck you, they hate you.
And it’s not just the strangers, it’s the men we are involved with, the men we marry. I look at the way most husbands look at their wives and it leaves nothing to be desired.
I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that we are trying to make it work in a society of mama’s boys. Men who have been raised by their moms to believe they are more important than women and that theirs is a life where they should be served. I mean in a home of two children where one is a boy and the other girl, the gender roles are defined from the get-go. Boy: your sister is your servant, girl: your destiny is to serve your husband.
I can’t say for sure what it is really, but there’s something sick and twisted about this society and it is men. Perhaps I need to pack my bags and find myself a Champagne Papi!